Another day without you. I want to pick up the phone and share all the awesomeness in my life. I want to hear what’s going on with you. It’s been a month since I last saw you and talked to you. Things didn’t go well right after that. New grief. New things to process. Every day I feel better though and every day I think about picking up the phone and calling.
That’s hard though. As I reach for the phone, I go through the requirements: what will this achieve? Who is this for? Am I being selfish? Does this serve? Mostly, the answers are still: nothing, me, yes, and no. So I don’t. It doesn’t mean I miss you less but I want to do it for the right reasons, when I think it will actually serve. I still haven’t healed enough and thoughts of this failing again hurt as much as always. So better to stay away while the attachment is still so strong and work on healing and grieving and releasing that attachment.
I hope things are good for you and your life is full of meaning.
I miss the fuck out of you.
All my love.