I’m feeling so locked off from you. I’m feeling scared that you’re never going to let me near again. And I look back at our life together and I get it. I said I loved dancing yet I never asked to go. I said I loved traveling and I didn’t. I seemed like an imposter.
I’m working through so much anger at myself, regret that I didn’t do those things. Fear that because of all that you’ll stay closed. Because you think I’m an imposter and I’ll lead you down another bad road.
I want to advocate for myself. Tell you that ‘s not me anymore. But that’s what the old me would have done. Pushed and wheedled and focused on me.
So how do I find the balance of getting involved in your life again and being respectful of you? How do I not make this a selfish thing?
I miss the fuck out of you.
All my love.