Not Pushing It

My darling,

All I really want to do is spend time with you. I want to pick up the phone and have a nice call or have you over and make dinner with you and catch up. You felt so open yesterday that I’m having a hard time not reaching out. And, yet, I know I have to wait…

I think you’re almost there and you have to do this for yourself. I can’t push it. It’s like trying to approach a skittish animal. If I rush up on you, you’ll bolt again like you did 10 days ago. I just have to stand still with my hand out in offering, waiting, until you feel safe enough to approach.

And so I’m at war with myself–the side that just wants time with you versus the side that wants you permanently back in my life; the side that prefers action against the side that wants specific results. Because I’m not used to this new way. Because I’m feeling scared I’m losing out on precious time with you. Because I miss you.

I’m open and waiting. Call me.

All my love.

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