I think I have to, even though it scares me. I think I have to use the old pact, the one we made three and a half years ago. I need you to understand I’m done with the past so…
I’m going to buy you McDonald’s.
I’m going to buy you a really fancy meal with a soda and I don’t care if you throw it away in front of me. My only want is that you see that the me of three months ago couldn’t do it but the me of now can.
When I do, I will be flexible and resourceful. I will be respectful of you, asking for your time first. I will be open to other times, not tied to the earliest possible one no matter how badly I want that. I will stay focused on my request and not get distracted into the past or by trying to prove myself. I will be succinct and not flood you with everything all at once.
I will offer the McDonald’s as a sign of moving forward and ask that we start fresh, getting acquainted once more and seeing what we are like now, and then give you time. I’ll be good even if you can’t offer me offer me anything at all. I can be patient now. I will be poised, self-possessed, and dignified.
Even if you tell me to fuck off.
I know you are perceptive and open-minded enough to see my changes. I believe this gesture is our way ahead, the thing that makes sense for us.
It still scares the fuck out of me.
All my love.