Figuring Out the Alone Time

Riddle me this…

This one’s just for me. I can tell I’ve had too much time without unavoidable distraction (even when it’s good distractions like friends or mandatory distraction like work). Today got too quiet way too soon and I’m faced with the real challenge of my life–how to sit with the discomfort and the echos? How to not get sucked into the what if’s and the might have been’s when there’s nothing else I have to do?

I struggle with things like playing Sherlock Holmes (or perhaps Encyclopedia Brown). I’m good at finding traces of people online, especially when there are still too many shared friends and links. Or getting sucked into mind-numbing puzzle games–which actually really just get my mind going… Leaves me wondering what he’s up to and why… why I can’t be part of it.

So what to do? The quick fix is to phone a friend. Go out and do something. In some ways, it’s a great fix–keeps me connected and active. It’s also the shittiest fix around, avoidance pure and simple. The other fix isn’t so clear… Keep playing logic puzzles until the sun comes up and then pretend I got a good night’s sleep?


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